Thursday, April 19, 2012

Just me...

WOW!  It has been a LONG time.  I must warn you, this post is VERY personal to me, and may be more information than you want to know. Serioulsy, I think I might be a little crazy to post this but  I feel it's important. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way,  let me explain where I have been and why it has been so LONG.  There has been a turn of events in my life that has created a great deal of stress, physical pain and emotional chaos.

 Let's start with where we left off.  I was getting ready to take my CPT exam and be in my first fitness photo shoot.  I was well beyond "right on track" with diet and training to be in the best shape possible for my shoot.  I contemplated  a decision that would change my life.  I decided to take this rather large window of opportunity to have what is know to be cosmetic, but in my case and mind was corrective surgery.  I decided to have a breast augmentation and a lift, to restore what I once had pre-kids.  This is something I have been wanting to do for several years.  February 14th, I went in for what I thought would be the best Valentines Day present ever.  I went home that night and began the recovery process.  It went well for about 4 days.  I started to bleed on day 5.  I had developed a hematoma.  This is one of the risks involved in this type of surgery.  It was simply draining on its own.  After 3 weeks of "draining" it finally stopped.  It left however a rather large hole that exposed my implant.  I was to then undergo a corrective surgery where they would go in and make sure all of the remaining blood was gone, and correct my incision. That surgery went well.  I was sent home with a drainage tube attached and actually felt pretty good.  I was to change the tubes as they filled.  We went through all of the tubes a little too soon. I had developed a seroma. (it's the same thing as a hematoma, the only difference is the red blood cell count)  We went and saw the Dr. and the excess fluid built up inside and created pressure on my new incision.  Note! My skin in that area was already very thin.  So, the incision had started to open again.  They acted fast and very carefully gave me 9 stitches and instructed me to do absolutely nothing for the next 4 days to see if the stitches would hold.  Needless to say, they didn't.  The only other option at this point was to remove the implant, sew me up and let the area completely heal.  That is what we did. So for the next week and half, I changed drainage tubes.  The drainage tube actually became the problem and my skin started to open up yet again.  They removed the tube, and I was to now left with an open wound.  My husband was instructed to pack this wound that runs along the bottom of my breast in both directions.  This was very uncomfortable.  My hubby was a super star! He did most of the changing.  Over this time I had developed some chest inflammation and back pain.  We all thought this was a result of the trauma to my chest.  As time went on, it got worse.  I actually went to a chiropractor who then explained to me that it was an "out of place" rib! (?)  He proceed to "treat" me.  However, The pain elevated to excruciating.  I could not move and had a hard time breathing.  After a week or so, I finally decided to see my Family Dr.  I explained to him my situation and history.  He then told me that it was simply just inflammation and that, in time, it would heal.  So, over that weekend, I started to feel a little better.  We had an appointment with my surgeon on Monday to finally give me stitches and let me heal.  I went in on Monday and he discovered some crazy tissue that was developing.  He searched for the source and found a "tunnel" that went all of the way to the top of my breast.  He numbed me up and had to "clean"out all of the bad tissue.  The good news is, this was the source of my chest and back pain!  So, now I have a 4 inch opening at the bottom of my breast that has 2 holes my amazing husband packs with gauss 2 times a day.  One hole is 2 inches wide and goes 4 inches up.  The other is a small tunnel that bends up the side.  The whole process takes 15-30 minutes and is extremely mentally exhausting.  We don't know how long it will take this wound to heal.  It could be 2-4 weeks. We are just taking  it one day at a time.  I have finally been able to focus and get off medications.  I feel so much better now that the chest and back pain is fading.  During the past 10 weeks, I have had to put off everything I loved.  No playing with the kids, and no weight training or cardio training, and no volleyball.  I was depressed.  I lost 8 lbs of mass, and have had no appetite.  My kids have suffered too.  They have had to deal with a grumpy mom that was constantly in pain and always exhausted.  I had turned into someone I thought I would NEVER become.  I had hit the bottom.  With the support of my husband, family, and friends, I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off.  I'm not the type of person that "regrets" anything.  Our mistakes make us who we are.  I don't regret this decision.  I am still very hopeful in the end result.  I don't blaim anyone, this is all just strange and it happened to me. I personally feel that I am meant to learn something from this experience. I plan to take it all in and make the best of it.  I hope to be done with all of this in the next 8 weeks.  I CAN do this!  I CAN do anything I set my mind to!  Now that my mind is in the right spot, everyday gets easier.  I hope to start cardio training by the end of next week! I'm excited to take that step.  I want to personally thank all of my family and friends that have supported me, and said kind, motivating words to encourage me.  I love you all.  I hope there is someone who reads this and can draw strength from it.  So, that is what I have been up to for the past 10 weeks, but I'm BACK! I'm excited to get moving again. I NEED this!

I do have some GREAT news in the mist of all of this chaos!  I was finally able to take my CPT exam today.  I PASSED! It's officially, official.   So, I will be announcing the winners of the contest in 1 week.  That will give any of  you a chance to catch up or go beyond.  To do so, go to the "contest" label on the right and it will give you all of the post that have contest challenges included.  GOOD LUCK!  I'm so excited to wrap this up! I apologize for this taking soooo long and I appreciate the support!

Thanks for your support!


  1. I've learned a lot from your expereince, I'm just sorry you had to be the one to go through it.
    So many people work extremely hard to reach their goals only to fall short, but you've personally experienced what it takes to get back up not only physically, but mentally and emotionally and try again. It would be much easier to sit back and think about everything you "used to be able to do", but what's impressive is the goal-oriented determination you've so deeply embedded into your being - it means there really is no stopping you! And, you really can do ANYTHING you put your mind to!
    I'm impressed and proud of you! This experience will help you tackle any of life's challenges in the future!

  2. Oh my gosh! How horrible for you! I had no idea that anything was wrong when I have seen you! I'm so sorry this has been such a traumatic experience. You are a strong woman. I hope the rest of the recovery goes smoothly for you.

  3. I am so sorry you have had to go through all this. I can't imagine being in pain as long as you have. I never knew-every time I saw you, you always had a smile on your face. Hope the rest of your recovery is worry free and is a quick one.

  4. Thanks for sharing! This will be a strengthen to you and all those around you. I agree with Denise you never let on that you were in pain. Sorry for not being there to help you. You and your family are in my prayers.

  5. oh my goodness! so sorry you had to go through that! what a great attitude you have, though. good luck with the rest of your recovery :)


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